hawk to homepage solsys to Saloon crossroads to site map >
go back
Buy This Song

Downtown Bar Barian

by Richard Haxton

Where you from, baby? I said — where you from? Oh, won’t talk, eh?
Hey, you think you can just turn your back on me and walk away?
Well, I’m gonna be in charge around here some day
Then there’s gonna be hell for you to pay
Yeah, there’s gonna be a missile with your name on it, mama
Heading straight for your home town, wherever that is
Just so you won’t forget my face the next time I come around
Millions and millions are gonna have to die
And you don’t even have the common decency to find out why

Mama used to lock him in the closet
Daddy wasn’t there to say no
Dad was there to make his midnight deposit
Then he got the bad news and it was time to go

So just how many are going to have to end up dead
To make you listen, baby, to make you turn your head
Don’t you know you’re dealing with the skyscraper here, mama,
The titan, the big gun, the moon rocket?
Not some geek with a pencil in his pocket
Maybe you don’t think I’m man enough for you, baby
Maybe you’re thinking you can just give me some of your lip
But when I’m in charge around here I’m gonna fill the whole Grand Canyon
To the brim with Reddi-wip
And put a cherry on top big as the Superdome
So come on, baby, let’s go home


And in a million years, baby, the space aliens are gonna send their apostles
And they’ll want to know what great force blew the human race back to fossils
That’s when my grave at the top of the heap
Will beckon them higher and higher with its mysterious drone
And they’ll stand in awed silence thinking it must have taken one hell of a man
To accomplish this much alone
And they’ll take of their space hats, baby
As they read the words on my stone