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Cocktail Dogfight

by Richard Haxton

Incredibly beautiful female, six o’clock. Unaccompanied. Approach.
Conversation excellent. Sky is clear
Incredibly beautiful female appears to be responding well. Objective in sight
Danger, three o’clock. Drunk hostile male approaching at great speed
Drunk hostile male makes surprisingly intelligent and coherent comments
Incredibly beautiful female appears to be responding. Mission in jeopardy. Mission in jeopardy
Necessary to engage target. Let flow a barrage of clever scintillating comments
Drunk hostile male stumbles off into darkness, three o’clock.
Mission back on track
Nine o’clock. Highly unattractive female approaching
Incredibly beautiful female now giggling approvingly at highly unattractive female’s comments
Mission in danger. Mission in danger
Incredibly beautiful female follows highly unattractive female off into darkness, nine o’clock
Abort mission, repeat abort mission
Sky is clear
Twelve o’clock, moderately attractive female
Mission back on track. Sky is clear