I used to be a loser. My life was just a chain of train wrecks
Before I tried the body wash, I never had a chance for love or sex
The first time that I used it was a once in a lifetime occasion
I found myself captivated by Einstein’s thought equations
And before you could blink I'd proved the link between the strong force and gravity
And before you protest, yes, I did this, like, totally mathematically
And double blind, and I build a time machine that lets you visit eternity
Then I pinpointed the big bang, it was 1936, November 23
But the main thing is now all these scientific chicks can’t get enough of me
So if you have insecurities of any kind that you need to quash
I totally recommend the totality makeover body wash
Hey, don’t you let the good life pass you by
You need to give this body wash a try
Don’t matter if you’re ugly or you’re stupid or you’re mean
The body was can give your life that very special sheen
