I’ve killed dragons, men with guns, and every virtual pest
I’m a master of flat screen warfare. I t-message with the best
But they went and changed all the remotes so you can use your fingers too
How do I compete when at the start they got me ten to two?
I got educated thumbs, opposable and strong
I logged a million video hours before it all went wrong
I should be eating cake but I’m picking up the crumbs
What in this world am I gon’ do with these educated thumbs?
I’m gon thumb my way out west. There’s a town where I can go
They got the Calaveras County Thumbs-Only Video Rodeo
It’s gonna feel just like home cuz they don’t treat my kind like bums
I’ll take my hands out of my pockets, take on whoever comes
I got educated thumbs, opposable and strong
I logged a million video hours before it all went wrong
Soon I’ll be eating cake, not picking up the crumbs
I finally found a place in this world for these educated thumbs
