I finally found myself a life quest
And I work on it shine or rain
One part involves how bad I can smell
The other part how much weight I can gain
And luckily both involve consumption
Of vast quantities of beer
If you set yourself a goal and hold on to your dream
Your fears just disappear
Well maybe they don't disappear
But at least they're held in check
Till you finally achieve the status of
Total mental and physical wreck
So don't let nobody tell ya
That you can't have it all too
Yes, even you can be your own toilet
If you try you can make it happen
To you