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Prayer for the Dawn of the Fiscal Year

by Richard Haxton

We come before the oh Lord at the beginning of the fiscal year asking you to help us keep everything in perspective and stand as a mighty beacon for us in these dark times whatever bla bla bla. If you can't handle that at least help us to keep the bureaucracy together help us to keep the money rolling in otherwise, how are we going to build expensive new churches and how are we going to distinguish our brand.. Help us, oh Lord, to keep everything simple but not so simple that it makes us look like fools. And if we do look like fools at least don't let us look like fools to the major contributors. Help us to remember that the organization comes first, and that nothing is possible if we don't maintain or improve this level of existence financially. Help us remember that money is the root of all evil, but unfortunately you have to pay to play. Give our humble parishioners the wisdom to prevail in their time of great struggle, but not so much wisdom that they won't give a large percentage of their income to us. And remember, oh Lord that we made a deal many years ago, and for you to back out now, could mean that things might not go that well for you either. Wait a minute lord, please don't construe those words as a threat, but let's cut to the chase, if we don't open these bozos' wallets somebody around here is going to have to get a real job. In your holy name we pray. Amen