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All Hail the King

by Richard Haxton

The mighty king sits in his hall
The lord and master of us all
Surveys his kingdom all around
Sees not a stir. Hears not a sound
No one dare dispute his throne
The law is laid, the deed is done
To prove his subtle mastery
He shouts commands at his TV

All hail the king
Let his praises ring

Only once he left his kingdom clean
To consort with a foreign queen
The foolish queen refused to see
His absolute authority
He did not recognize defeat
He tactfully made his retreat
He swore he never would again
Forsake his fine and faithful land


No outside threats disturb the king
No doorbells, phones, no warning rings
The trumpets sound, the subjects shout
It’s time to take the garbage out
He takes it out upon the hour
He sweeps the dust as it hits the floor
He keeps his kingdom clean and neat
The war is lost when you admit defeat